What do you want to be in your life?

It’s hard to live in this world. Trying your best to be a mature girl and doing what’s best for everyone else. You would do anything to please everyone. While taking a decision, you think about everyone else except you. How it would affect others, how would they think about you, would they like it or not, would they be proud or would they criticize? What if you fail?? It’s hard to be a mature girl. The days when all your worries were eating vegetables for dinner and the villains beating up the Power Rangers are long gone. And that thought hurts me. But what hurts me the most is that everyone expects more than just a mature girl. They all want you to be the best as the best only survives in this world.

The ‘best’ is singular. Only one can be the best. Then what about the ‘rest’? Well, no one cares, right? All they care about is being the best. No matter how hard the climb up is, they don’t think twice whether it’s the right amount of responsibility for a child. Maybe not even once. The ‘best’ out there did it, then why can’t you?

So you end up putting all your efforts into being the best. Hours and hours of practice or being buried in books at three in the morning don’t matter. No matter what you do, it’s just not enough. You skip all three meals a day so that just a little bit of your weight disappears. You spend sleepless nights trying to finish all the books available in the library. Even if you feel as though you might faint any second, you force yourself a little more saying that’s what it takes to be the best.

Trying your best to be the ‘best’, you often end up forgetting about yourself. You might even forget to find out your own passion. What is that one thing you crave for every single day? That one thing that you long to have or be. So much that your heart aches at not being able to achieve it.

Your passion is something that you never get tired of even if you do it a million times. The same passion that made champions. They love what they do and they would it all again a hundred times. It’s that fire in their bones that won’t die no matter how hard they get hit. Living without passion for something is living as one of the walking dead. Once you find your passion, that is when you turn your dreams into reality. But to achieve a dream, you have to first see it and your passion helps you to see it in HD.

So what is your passion? Blindly without any hesitation, you answer to the question, “What do you want to be in life?”. It might not be a truthful answer, but it is the answer that you were taught so well that you whole heartedly believe that it is what you want in life. Maybe it was because you never had time to find out what you actually wanted in life, what your passion was. But for now, the answer is, “To be the best.”


Too Lost To Be Aware

Holding the bag close to her heart, she walked down the street in the rain. So lost that she didn’t even know how dark it had been. Not even able to see where her feet touched the ground. Not even sure whether it was the road to her home. Yet she walked on. She didn’t care where it led.

The voices in her head wouldn’t quiet down today. The same pain that she dealt with every single day seemed to weigh a hundred ton more today and a million thoughts rushed through her mind. Being consumed by her own thoughts, she desperately struggled to find the “off” switch that night.

She stood at the edge of the cliff and was ready to jump. Even the tiniest thought could push the needle to the other side. The deadly side.

But it wasn’t her. It was someone else inside her. Someone else that got pleasure even by seeing the sharp razor in her father’s bathroom. Someone who once made her choke on 27 sleeping pills. Someone who made her buy the rope in her bag. She hated that someone more than anything in this world. Yet that someone was her only hope tonight.

She felt the thick tight rope through the thin denim bag and held on to it as though it was her last breath of air as she was drowning deep down. It was her only way out. A way to make the voices quiet down…forever.

She thought hard about why she should shove her bag into the nearest garbage bin but all she could think of was how beautiful the rope would look around her neck. How peaceful it would feel. It would make the perfect ‘rope necklace’.

She couldn’t hold back anymore. Laying all her faith in that someone in her who craved the heaven, she walked on.

Absent minded was how she was always. But tonight, a little too much maybe. A little too much to not even notice the pair of footsteps behind her. A little too lost in her thoughts to not know about the feet that stepped on her shadow.

Being Strong For Too Long…

Would you like to suffer through an awful and tasteless meal that you have to shove into your mouth or the most delicious and mouth watering meal while both come at the same high price? Which life would you choose? Obviously the tasty one that makes you feel as though the price was worth it. But I chose the awful one. Want to why?

Try acting like it’s the most delicious meal and eat it whole heartedly. As though that price was not high enough to get such a marvelous meal that you were tremendously lucky to have. You might find it hard to do so, but what keeps you going is the face that peeks from the kitchen window to see how you’re enjoying the food that they made. The happiness that you find in their eyes is priceless and that is what makes you think that the price was worth it. A professional would never make such an awful dish. It’s an amateur with a soft heart who puts all his efforts into presenting that one meal for you. They might not have got a chance to eat it off a silver plate with a silver spoon like you as that price was too high for them. All they got was a tiny bite which cooking. But when they see you enjoying it, they get a glance of heaven at that moment.

But what about you? You might feel like choking yourself to death with every single bite. You might fear that you end up spitting it out and worry about the face at the window. How would they feel to know that they gave you one of the worst nightmares when all they wanted was to give the best one that you ever had. How would they feel to be disappointed with themselves thinking about how they made someone else’ day a bad one?

Being strong for too long hurts a lot. Especially if one of your loved ones is watching from afar thinking that you’re enjoying the life that they set for you. And when you think about how they would feel if you finally choke on it, it hurts even more. You try you’re very best to suffer till the end and to turn to them and say that it was awesome. But would you make it that far? Could you hold on till the end? That fear is what hurts the most.

Is Technology Making Us Smarter?


‘Developed’ is the word that every country wants to be known by and technology helps them reach that goal. Moreover the development in technology has led to miracles that could not even be imagined in the olden days to be seen as silly things by people. It helps people to take control of their life and world and also gives them all kinds of comfort and happiness. There are many in the world that could not even imagine living in a world without technology. It has becomes one of the most amazing and essential things to live. It has shown us a beautiful world of wonders where we are able to learn about absolutely anything. And learning always makes a person smarter. So the answer to the question “Is technology making us smarter?” is an obvious ‘yes’. But are we stupid enough to be a victim to the bad effects of what we created? Now that’s a different matter. People mistook that as technology making us dumber.

Technology has helped us see the world differently and more clearly. We learned about most of the aspects of life and found wonders in the world. We learned about things from tiny atoms to the whole universe. That knowledge is what makes humans unique. Not only did we learn about ourselves, we also got to learn about even the outer space. When people say that the sky is the limit, there are footprints on the moon to prove how far technology has helped us reach. It gives us the freedom and comfort that every human craves for today. The internet helps us keep in touch with the people on the other side of the world while sitting in our home. No matter what happens around the world, we get to know all about it as though it is served in bed for us. If we wish to see our family who are thousands of miles away, all it takes is a network connection to see them in just a second. Media sharing and online socializing is just a few things that we get to experience. The part technology plays in research and medication is literally incomparable. Information changes situation and thus we are able to give back life to the ones who almost lost it due to their illness. If that isn’t a miracle, then what else is? Sometimes we get to play God with technology on our side. But that’s the problem. We play God a bit too often.

Technology does make us smarter, but that is if we use it in the right way. Using it for our comfort should have its limit. It shouldn’t be to such an extent that we become lazy and technology becomes just our servant. It is something that helps us save the world but why do we use it for destruction? What technology actually does is help us gain knowledge about things and help us do tasks easier. But even if we use medicine in the wrong amount it becomes poison for us. That is the case with technology. Nowadays people don’t seem to know what the right amount is and they bluntly speak that technology is just making us dumber. Maybe we are dumb to not know about the responsibilities that come with creating such powerful things. Due to our greed we often forget that we share the world with all kinds of living beings and it’s not just ours for us to destroy. Thus we create the most havoc which kills us also. But we turn a blind eye and blame the technology while we never think that it’s what we created that led to such destruction. We can use the same technology to save the dying world. But who is there to give it a try? Who is there at least use technology in the right way for everyone’s good. Comfort comes first nowadays and that will cause the end of the earth if we are that much of a neglect-er. Just as a coin has two sides, technology has its sides too. We just have to know which the head is and which the tail is.