It isn’t you…It’s me…

They are a million ways in which a good friendship can break. And I’m here to tell you about one of the worst ways. The way in which none of them did anything wrong and still a good friendship had gone to waste. Maybe the world was not the right one for such a friendship. And maybe, it never will be.

She never did anything wrong. She smiled at me with a sincere heart and took me along wherever she went. But I could never smile back at her sincerely. To see her beautiful smile hurt me inside. And to think that my smile would never be as beautiful as hers was killing me. But she never did anything wrong. It wasn’t her fault that she was pretty and I wasn’t. But it hurt to know that the guy I liked only spoke to me because I was her friend. Her tag-along that he had to be nice to so that he could be close to her. And she never realized anything. But she never did anything wrong. It was me. Me, who could not face myself in the mirror. Me, who had a stupid inferiority complex that never let me enjoy any of the fun times with her. Being next to her reminded me of how the worlds are different for the pretty ones and the not-so-pretty ones. I started to hate being with her. But she never did anything wrong. It was the way people saw me. The way they treated me. Without her, I had no friends. No one who I could talk to. No one took a second look at me. It was as though I was a worthless person. And it hurt. But she never did anything wrong. She was the only person who treated me without a difference. Even if there was no one in the world who wanted to be with me, she took me in as her best friend. She spent her whole day with me and introduced me to all her friends. She never saw me as an ugly person. She saw the real me and loved me with all her heart. She never did anything wrong…

But…

What did I do wrong? I tried my best to look pretty. But the more make-up I put on, the more I looked like a clown. I tried my best to smile happily so that people would look beyond beauty and recognize me. But no one noticed. The more I spend time with her, I more I felt like charity. It hurt the way the world looked at me. Actually, it hurt when they didn’t. She never intended anything. But in the end, whatever she did, I judged myself into a loser. And I became one.

And so, to save me from myself, I distanced myself from her. A good friendship gone ruined because I cared too much. And she never did anything wrong. Yet, she’ll never know why she lost her best friend. She’s a good person. If anyone is to take the blame, it would be me. But what was I supposed to do?

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